The Jack Bauer of Search Engine Optimization

Entries categorized as ‘Stupid Things’

Bailouts – Changing the Variables of Business

November 21, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Before the Government goes bailing everyone out, they should consider the guys they don’t have to bailout and the impact it will have on their businesses. 

Note:  forgive this simplistic scenario but you’ll get the overall point.  Let’s say you own a bank and you chose not to give out risky mortgages.  And let’s say you also chose not to buy up other banks risky mortgages.  You also choose not to invest your profits into mortgage bonds because you don’t know which are risky and which aren’t. 

If you were a bank and you chose not to do those three things then you would be called an “idiot” by nearly everyone in the industry between say 2003 – 2007.  Most of the other banks you were competing against were making millions of dollars on loans you refused to make.  But, let’s say you managed to keep your bank open and were still turning a profit, not at the levels of other banks but still a profit.

Now, it’s 2008 and you look pretty smart.  You are still turning a profit while your competitors are hurting and even going out of business which means their customers are coming to your bank.  Great you are set!  Wait, your competitors have hired lobbyist to fly to Washington to try and get the government to help them out.  The government is broke so they say no but your lobbyists are smart.  They start scaring everyone into thinking that if their clients fail then the whole system will fail and everyone (meaning voters) will suffer and blame those in congress.   They also get newspaper columnists to write articles scaring the public into believing this scenario.  Pointing out that “Joe Blah Blah” is at risk of losing his job and his money.

So Congress jumps on board.  Now, the government is pouring money into your competitors even though they made bad business decisions.   Your competitors survive and the bailout makes potential customers and investors more likely to actually throw their money into your competitors instead of your bank.  Guess what?  The Variables just changed and you were penalized for not being an “idiot”. 

You go out of business and your competitors gobble up your bank only to make the same mistake again in 5 years.  The executive boards and managers of those banks avoid any real damage and go on to repeat their mistake once again.  After all, they made millions and when they started to face losses…government bailed them out.  What’s the downside? 

Or take that scenario and say you are an automaker or a builder or an airline.

Categories: Business · Day to Day Stuff · Deep Thoughts · Democrats · Economy · Housing · Mortgage Industry · News · Politics · Stupid Things · bailout · lending crisis · mortgage · real estate · republicans
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Brad Johnson Should Start Over Tony Romo

August 18, 2008 · Leave a Comment

I’m serious.  Look at what everyone is saying about Brad Johnson’s dominating pre season performance:

2. Brad Johnson. Can we now leave Brad Johnson alone? Finished two scoring drives including a long pass play.

Leave him alone?  Give him the starting job!  And look what Spagnola has to say over at dallascowboys.com

Johnson was razor sharp, and against the Broncos’ first-team defense, mind you, completing nine of 12 passes for 114 yards and one touchdown.

To those who say his arm is shot, we give you the mighty fine 37-yard pass to Austin streaking down the right sideline. To those who say he won’t hang in the pocket, we give you the perfectly thrown five-yard fade to Austin for a touchdown. And for those who wanted to insist after the San Diego game that he is so old he can’t make good decisions anymore, we give you the 11-yard pass to tight end Martellus Bennett, a nine-yarder to Isaiah Stanback and the six-yarder to Tony Curtis, showing he’s patient enough to take what the defense during a two-minute drill will give him.

I mean even Tony Romo gets into the act:

Tony Romo did, coming up from behind the team’s oldest player, throwing his arms around his 39-year-old shoulders, and with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen proclaim, “That’s 2001 right there; that’s Brad Johnson 2001.”

Romo spoke of his immediate backup, the soon-to-be 40-year-old quarterback who had a vintage year in 2001, leading his Tampa Bay Buccaneers to the Super Bowl title, basically playing the same style of football then as so many are quick to criticize and want to retire him for now.

Brad Johnson is the only answer to the question “which QB can lead the cowboys to the super bowl”?  Don’t believe me?  Are you a Brad Johnson Hater/Doubter?  Then check out these stats:

Brad Johnson has a career passer rating of 83.1 (one year it was as high as 92.9!)…what’s Romo’s you ask?  A pathetic 96.5(worthless) and he’s already got almost 2 years of playing experience.  And Brad Johnson is clearly the more accurate passer (even though he only throws downfield and never dump offs) with a career mark of 61.8 compared to Romo’s erratic 64.4.  How Does Dallas expect to win anything with Romo?

Let’s talk TD’s.  Johnson once threw 26 TD’s in one year!  One freaking year!  So he threw 21 picks also…still 26!  Romo barely topped 35 TD’s last year.    Also, Brad knows how to get the ball downfield and show off his rocket arm with a career avg of 6.7 per attempt while Romo with his weak girly arm is afraid to go down the field and dumps the ball off at 8.3 per attempt.   You starting to get on the Brad Johnson express?

It’s pretty clear that Brad Johnson can not only still play in the NFL (he dominates in the pre season)but he just opened up an old fashioned can of quarterback controversy in Dallas (Hogeboom?).  Dallas can continue to sputter along with Romo or they can take a chance on the 39 year old young rocket arm of Brad Johnson.

My name is Brad,  Brad Johnson.

I keep the ladies in the 90’s, Cravin.

Who’s That Rocking the Spot,(It Brad Johnson)
Who’s that keepin it hot,(I’m Brad Johnson)
Who’s That Bringin the pain,(It’s Brad Johnson)

Categories: Dallas Cowboys · Day to Day Stuff · Deep Thoughts · Humor · Movies · NFL · News · Sports · Stupid Things · football

Associated Press = Morons

July 1, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Check out this great story on Elton Brand opting out of his contract.

And here is the part to pay attention to before they change it:

The Los Angeles Times reported earlier in the day that Brand’s teammate, Corey Maggette, filed the paperwork to opt out of his deal.

Brand played in only eight games last season because of a knee injury. In nine seasons with the Bulls and Clippers, Brand has averaged 20.3 points and 10.2 rebounds per game.

A knee injury?  Really?  You sure it wasn’t a RUPTURED ACHILLES TENDON????

Sloppy reporting and just plain moronic.  And I don’t care when they correct it because it should never have made it out of the editing room.

Categories: Basketball · Day to Day Stuff · Deep Thoughts · Humor · NBA · NBA Basketball · News · Sports · Stupid Things

Correcting the NBA Draft Lottery

May 20, 2008 · 1 Comment

I am so sick of hearing this argument.  Let’s get rid of the lottery!  Let’s fix the lottery!  Let’s leave it the same!

Look, it’s so simple.  Now stay with me.  First of all, the system is broke and needs to be fixed and the best part is that there is a really really easy solution. 

The draft lottery is set on March 1st.  If you are the worst team on March 1st then you get the first pick in the draft.  And the rest of the picks fall in order with the exception of any teams that make the playoffs…those teams will be seeded by record after all non-playoff teams are seeded. 

This will prevent teams from benefitting from tanking at the end of the season…Miami.  They tanked game after game this season in March and April.  It will also allow NBA teams to play their young players at the end of the year without affecting the order of the draft.  If a team sucks on March 1st then they suck and the worst team on March 1st should get that 1st pick.  Because all teams are competing up until March 1st and if you are getting beat during that time then yeah you are the worst team in the league and should get the 1st pick.  In March and April, teams who are already out of the playoffs start resting guys who otherwise would play and they do nothing to better the team..knowing that they need the draft pick. 

Many NFL fantasy leagues are run similar.  Whoever has the worst record after week 12 gets the 1st pick in the draft.  Because any one who has played fantasy football knows that if an owner is clearly out of the playoffs those last few weeks then they tank…either on purpose or just stop paying attention and start guys who are injured,etc.  I’m surprised someone as smart as Mark Cuban hasn’t presented this as a solution. 

Easy solution NBA.  There’s no real argument against it. 

Categories: Basketball · Day to Day Stuff · Deep Thoughts · Fantasy Football · Marketing · NBA · NBA Basketball · NBA Draft · NBA Playoffs · NFL · News · Sports · Stupid Things · football · mark cuban

Lazy Marketing

March 31, 2008 · 3 Comments

On Sunday, HBO decided to air this double feature.  Dennis Rodman's Movie

Vanilla Ice's Movie

This is a “premium” channel that I pay for.  Seriously?  How lazy are the people at HBO?  I expect this lineup from G4 or something but I get this on HBO.   It’s bad enough that stupid “Epic Movie” is on 25 times a week but you give me Dennis Rodman  and Vanilla Ice on a weekend…On a freaking weekend! 

I should get a refund for the entire year.  And for anyone who thinks that it would be funny to actually watch those movies…just sit through either one for more than 5 minutes…the novelty wears off fast and you are just hoping someone walks in with a shotgun to put you out of your misery.   But, then you think to yourself…if I die then then last thing I’m going to remember is Dennis Rodman and Vanilla Ice.  Please.  Don’t let it end this way. 

I hate you HBO.  I really hate you. You ruined my life with your Sunday lineup.

Categories: Basketball · Business · Day to Day Stuff · Deep Thoughts · HBO · Humor · Marketing · Stupid Things · TV · Television · entertainment

SEO: Image Alt Tag Keyword Stuffing

March 24, 2008 · 5 Comments

Gotta love image alt tag stuffing.  How did this ever sound like a good idea to these cheaters?

And if you take the time to read some of the text, they not only stuff every sentence with keywords but it’s impossible to read through without taking a knife to your wrist.  How can you put up crap like that and be happy?  I hope these guys are raking in the dough because that’s the only way you could possibly justify crap like that.

Tell Google what you think of them.

Categories: Business · Humor · Internet · SEO · Search Engine Optimization · Spam · Stupid Things · Web Design · technology

Quick NCAA Tournament Thoughts

March 23, 2008 · Leave a Comment

If you are an NBA homer or just want to get jazzed up then check out Rosen’s article on how the NBA is sooo much better than NCAA.  Of course Rosen is just talking out of his ass so who cares.  College Basketball is much better than the NBA and this year’s tourney has been great so far. 

My quick thoughts:

  • A & M…soo close.  I can’t believe chunky Love hit that last fade-away. 
  • Who knew Del Curry’s son could shoot?  Shocking, right?  How many will he put up today?
  • I hate the Lopez brothers.  I don’t know why.  It’s like a cross between Noah and Neitzel.   And why do they have girls names?  I know there has to be some explanation but Robin and Brook?  Can’t root for you guys. 
  • The Longhorns are in trouble if Augustin gets into foul trouble.  They don’t have anyone to handle the ball other than him.  Mason and Abrams try but they can’t handle the pressure. 
  • I am so happy Duke lost.  I wish they would have lost in the first round.  I hate all Duke players past and present.  Enjoy watching the rest of the tournament. 
  • Why do I hate Duke so much?  Who cares, they suck.
  • Lose Arkansas.  Please Lose today.  I hate the beard
  • Tough loss UCONN.  AJ can play and that loss cost you a chance to move on.  and busted everyone’s bracket.
  • Memphis’ defense is still bad and UT Arlington couldn’t have played any better.  It’s amazing that they kept it that close without hitting 3 pointers.  That’s usually what keeps small schools in the game but UTA did it by going inside. 
  • Ian Eagle.  Ian freaking Eagle.  So close.  Can we get “Chappy Sinclair” for one game?  Is that too much to ask?

Categories: Basketball · Day to Day Stuff · Deep Thoughts · Humor · March Madness · Media · NBA · NBA Basketball · NCAA · News · Sports · Stupid Things · Television · entertainment · ncaa basketball

Randomness

January 15, 2008 · Leave a Comment

I don’t know how else to put it.  Some interesting things today.

  1. Inflation – Maybe we should take Ron Paul a little more seriously when he talks about the dollar.   Highest in 26 years and the other Republicans say the economy is “sound”.  Sure guys.
  2. Kenneth Davis? – Sloppy reporting from Fox News.  I saw this the other day and thought for sure it would have been fixed by now.  It’s “Keith Davis” morons!
  3. Beer to the Rescue – Beer fights cancer!  Please let this be true…please.
  4. Cloned Food Safe to Eat – Sure FDA.  Sure.  I mean you guys are never wrong about this stuff.  Vioxx sound good to anyone, right now?  How much money was spent by lobbyist to get this one approved?   
  5. Let’s sell them Weapons! – Major Arms deal to Saudi Arabia.  I mean they are our friends…as long as the royal family is in charge and of course the Saudi people just love them.  What happens when the royal family gets kicked out (think the Shah of Iran) and those weapons are still there?  cough.  “blowback”
  6. Was it a Prank? – How stupid does Fox News look now?  I mean that was their big question at their debate.  Hey Brit, you think the Navy made the right call now?  Maybe just maybe we should do some investigation before we jump on these things.  Alas, it’s only war…death…lives…money.
  7. Goodbye  Dennis – NBC wants Kucinich out of the debate.  If they are running, can we hear them speak?  It’s only January.
  8. California is Broke – not good as it’s economy if measured would be like the 7th or 8th largest in the world
  9. Greenspan’s New Job – hmm, hired by a Hedge Fund that shorted the subprime Market and made billions.  In my opinion, that’s not glaring information as anyone with half a brain knew that giving loans to people who historically were not good at paying back debt was sure to backfire, eventually.
  10. More Troops to Afghanistan – Really?  More?  How long is this going to last?  Any other nations sending troops?  Nope.  Then why are we?  If they aren’t worried about it then should we? 
  11. Let’s Be careful out there - And lastly, if you want some laughs or maybe it’s too bad to laugh.  Watch some Youtube clips of “cop rock”.  I can’t fathom how that show got out of the focus groups and onto TV.

Categories: Business · Dallas Cowboys · Day to Day Stuff · Deep Thoughts · Economy · FDA · Humor · Media · Mortgage Industry · News · Politics · Prescription Drugs · Presidential Candidates · Random · Ron Paul · Sports · Stupid Things · Terrorism · The News Media · entertainment · lending crisis · mortgage · republicans

Erroneous

November 29, 2007 · Leave a Comment

China: ‘Erroneous’ U.S. actions have harmed ties.

How can I take that headline seriously when all I can think of when I hear the word “erroneous” is this

I tried to find the wedding crashers clip but couldn’t…sorry.  That being said, this is a big deal for the Navy as there aren’t that many places to fuel up.  On the west coast you only have two places…total.   And no one is not L.A.

Categories: Day to Day Stuff · Humor · News · Stupid Things · china

Sad News

November 15, 2007 · Leave a Comment

The Frontier Inn is no more.  I had the pleasure of staying at the Frontier a few years ago and oh, how I will miss the worst buffet in all of Vegas and possibly the ugliest hotel there as well.  Here’s to you Frontier…here’s to you.

Categories: Day to Day Stuff · Deep Thoughts · Humor · Las Vegas · News · Stupid Things · construction · entertainment